I’m Your Hyperventilating Seatmate in 23B Googling Facts About Turbulence
Grant me serenity to accept the shortage of air traffic controllers I cannot control
Let me be clear: I am not afraid of flying.
That would be laughable, irrational, statistically absurd — ridiculous!
I just have a funny feeling the left wing will fall off.
Again: I am not afraid of traveling.
My anxieties are merely artisanal. My phobias, bespoke.
Sure, sometimes, when we’re skimming over the Atlantic, I worry I’ll phase through the floor and do a 34,000-foot polar plunge.
But I am not afraid of crashing.
I’m sure everything is up to snuff, code compliant, clear for takeoff.
I’m also hesitant to recline my seat, in case it tips the plane nose-up.
And while I am not afraid of turbulence, terrorists, or mechanical failures.
It’s only because there is so much more to fear — like flushing the lavatory’s vacuum toilet and getting sucked out into open sky.
Let me be clear: this is not a cry for help.
It’s a pre-flight service announcement.
Thank you for flying during a partial government shutdown.





Seriously! I just was on a plane yesterday so i KNOW! Well written truths between the laughs
I have the same fear. Maybe bigger, because I many times have to fly out of Reagan National. 😬